The Official Oaks Center Cinema Blog: Now With 300% More Commercial Breaks
Hello There Movie Mates,
This Blog is brought to you by D-BOX! These state-of-the-art Immersive Motion-Reclining Seats bring MORE action, MORE drama, and MORE laughs to your movie going experience than ever before! So visit your nearest Oaks Center Cinema to try one out TODAY! Seating is limited, so be sure to visit Oakscenter.net to reserve your seat today. Want to know what the D in D-BOX stands for? Too bad, it’s a trade secret.
This Blog is also sponsored by OCX Luxury Auditoriums. “OCX, for when life gives you lemons, Oaks Center gives you Luxury.” OCX Luxury Auditoriums feature Heated Messaging recliners, Expanded Screen Sizes, Upgraded 7.1 Surround Sound, 3D viewing capabilities, and much more. 5 out of 10 customers say “OCX is the BEST movie going experience this side of the Mississip”, the other 5 say “OCX is the Greatest movie Going Experience in the Universe”. Buy tickets now and decide for yourself! Heated-Massaging Recliners.
And now, before we get the show started, we will take a quick commercial Break. Heated-Massaging Recliners.
“Has this ever happened to you?” (Cuts to customer standing in line at an empty concession stand. The only product available is one box of Jujubes covered in Cobwebs)
“Are you sick and tired of going to Movie theatre Concession Stands and being offered the same generic treats?” “If so, then come on down to Oaks Center Cinema and treat your taste buds to a culinary flavor explosion of epic proportions”. “In addition to all of the tasty treats you’ve come to know and love, like Fudge and Caramel Corn, Oaks Center has expanded its Hot Food Menu to offer all the yummy bites your tummy deserves”. Heated-Massaging Recliners.
“Chicken Tenders- Breaded and perfectly fried, these crispy chicken tenders are a perfect harmony of crunch and flavor. Dip these delectable tenders in your choice of BBQ, Ranch, or Honey Mustard.” Heated.
“Cheeseburgers- A juicy, mouthwatering half-pound beef patty topped with your favorite cheese and toppings served on a rich buttery Brioche bun. This isn’t your average movie theatre Burger, this is the Burger described in legends and the burger you’ve deserved your whole life.” Massaging.
“Wagyu Hot Dog- The King of all Hot Dogs, the Wagyu Dog is served with coleslaw on a warm brioche bun. All other Hot Dogs bow to the Wagyu Dog and pledge fealty. The Wagyu dog will lead your taste buds on an epic journey unlike any other.” Recliners.
“Cheesesteak Eggrolls- Tender Steak and Sensationally savory melted cheese wrapped neatly in a golden crunchy shell. This is Philly in a nutshell/Eggroll.”
“All these fantastic options and much more are available now! The Excitement of the movies and flavorful cuisine in one magical place, Oaks Center Cinema.” Heated-Massaging Recliners.
Alright Movie Mates, now that we are done with the sponsors and Commercial breaks, let’s get back to the blog. The Big Movie this mon…I am getting word from my producers that we must take a quick break to mention our newest Sponsor, “Starlux Premium Theatre”. In a Starlux Premium Theatre, not only do you watch the stars on the big screen, YOU are the Star! The Starlux Premium Theatre is YOUR perfect destination to have a private party while watching today’s hit Movies, all while seated in our luxurious Heated-Massaging Recliners. Starlux also features Chaise Loungers, Love Seats, and a private concierge to fulfill your every need.
Aaand we are back. So the big Movie this month is none other than…..No commercial break?... Cool. The big movie this month is AVATAR: FIRE and ASH! It is finally here Ladies and Gents, the biggest movie of the year is only a week away and….ah crap, another commercial break. Heated Massaging Recliners
(In Movie Trailer Guys Deep Voice) In a world where there is Fire and there is Ash, there are also AVATARS! We have seen Wind, We have seen Water, but this December, we will see Fire! Special 3D showings are now available at Oaks Center Cinema. When one D isn’t enough, and 2D just isn’t cutting it, there’s 3D! Three whole Dimensions of Movie Magic beamed right into your eyeballs, straight through your optic nerves, with a pit stop at your thalamus and then blasting beautifully vibrant 3D images into your Visual Cortex. It will be like you’re right there in the fire, without the nuisance of actually being on fire! Heated-Massaging Recliners.
Alright, now back to your regularly scheduled blog…..And that’s all the time we have this month folks. Thanks for tuning in. We will see you next year with many more exciting announcements! Happy Heated Holidays and stay Massaging safe out there Movie Recliners Mates!
-Notes to editor
-I used subliminal messaging about Heated-Massaging Recliners
-There are a bunch of other great movies coming out, but I ran out of room to mention SpongeBob, Anaconda, David, and more.
-Not sure if I mentioned, Tickets and event info are available at oakscenter.net
- My mind is slowly descending into a darkness from which there is no return.
- Happy Holidays to all of the Blog producers, Directors, Staff, and Crew.