Rushed Reviews & Reckless Recaps: Can You Spot the Real Movie Synopsis
What’s up ya Movie Mates?
I gotta cut to the chase, they just told me the blog was due an hour from now, with no warning whatsoever. None…No warning at all. I got a call from the President of Internal Blog Affairs reaming me out for not having started the blog.* She said if I don’t have this blog done by 5:00 pm, I'd better start looking for a new job. I told her, “You can’t rush the creative process,” but here I am being rushed, so I was wrong; you can rush the creative process. So in an act of malicious compliance, I will write this blog by 5:00 pm with what movies are coming out, BUT each movie will have two Synopsisesiesies…One right one and one wrong one. Can you find the correct Synopsis?
March 6th
The Bride!- Just a movie about an average couple's wedding photos OR a movie about Frankenstein’s Monster and his companion?
Hoppers- 6-hour-long movie about Dennis Hopper and his family OR a warm, family-friendly Pixar movie about a robotic beaver?
March 13th
Reminders of Him- A movie based on Colleen Hoovers best selling novel of the same name OR a movie based on Colleen Hoovers Worst selling novel?
March 20th
The Pout-Pout Fish- Animated kids film about fish that embark on an epic journey through the sea OR a live action remake of Jaws, but with a giant fish that gets real close to ships and pouts at the people on board.
Project Hail Mary- The story of an astronaut who tries to save Earth while alone in outer space, starring Ryan Gosling OR The Story of widowed mother Mary and her two children who traverse a post-apocalyptic landscape in search of shelter and food as the most dangerous hail storm the world has ever seen ravages the land.
Ready or Not 2: Here I Come- The Sequel to 2019’s “Ready or Not” OR The Sequel to 2000’s Masterpiece “Bring it On.”
March 27th
Forbidden Fruits- Seth Rogan's adult animated follow-up to “Sausage Party” OR a movie about a secret witch cult at a mall fashion store.
April 1st
Super Mario Galaxy- Follow-up Sequel to “The Super Mario Bros” OR Never mind, I don’t think I can fool you guys on this one.
For more movies, showtimes, and real synopsis go to Oakscenter.net. I am contractually obligated to remind everyone to check out our D-BOX Motion seating, our new luxury heated Massaging Recliners, and our expanded hot food menu. Also, check our website for our awesome lineup of Throwback movies coming this month, starting with Annihilation, Requiem for a Dream, Donnie Darko, and all three Godfather movies! ANNNND a special 16mm showing of “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” Saturday 3/7 @ 7:00 pm.
Well, it’s almost 4:57 pm…Stay Safe out there, Movie Mates!
*Note from the President of Internal Blog Affairs. He had ample notice prior to blog completion - he just likes to test my patience.